NLP'ers ask the question,
"If another person can have fun playing with their pet spider,
then what can we learn about them that we could teach the phobic person,
so that they can play with spiders too?"
(Or something like that).
The spider-lover would most likely have an image representing spiders
that was proportionally correct
and at a reasonable distance
and possibly other factors not worth getting into right now.
Knowing the difference,
the NLP'er can use one of many techniques to
help the phobic person relearn their reaction to spiders so that
it is similar in nature to the spider-lover's (Hopefully less of the lover part).

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